Cramped Elbows

Nothing to complain about. Things are about as good as they ever get.



Stuff I've beein lookin at besides facebook nowdays:

http://tvbookshop.com
http://www.hennesseyingalls.com/hennessey/
http://referencelibrary.blogspot.com/
http://trackosaurusrex.com/pblog/ (Just for you, Jacob)
http://nothingisnew.wordpress.com/

Yay good stuff.

My knuckles have turned to white,

I'm all smiles!

Just got back from Black Friday shopping with my girls. Yep, it's 4 AM and I'm done shopping. Parking was a crazy mess, walking around was ridiculous dodging through crowds, waiting in lines for hours...I knew it wouldn't be particularly amazing to do midnight shopping at Waikele, but it was an experience nonetheless.

And so apparently it's Christmas season.

I love the holidays, figures that Hawaii never gets to participate in much of that wintery stuff.

Life is good. I'm pretty thankful.

Oh my goodness,

I haven't been this happy in ages.

It's nice. :]




edit-

AHAHAHAHAHAH

Yeah I bet it isn't even that bad huh

I fucking hate canker sores

Rhetoric and Flotsam

Wait, Wait, Wait - The Format

I'm looking at you
And my heart loves the view
Because you mean everything




And thus closes the curtains of a new day to start a new night, but streams of light still filter through these cluttered eyelids. Nonsensical whispers sneak across and through the carpet and creep up my blankets to crawl and snuggle in with me, only you're not there to tuck me in. Will it be the end of time that finally brings you to me? Or will that end only give birth to the fissure between us, that abyss festering between us? To me, those were words of encouragement, that we had hit rock bottom. In order to climb out, hand grasping rock, could imagination be our savior. My savior. And who was to tell me, to look straight into my gaze of fixed vacancy and tell me that it had just begun? Or had never started? Too many questions, too many answers. Like the jumbled letters of your Scrabble board, always frustrating me to never-ending end with the possibility of drawing a blank. Like how I chose you. Like how you didn't choose me. Funny to notice the discrepancies between our heartbeats, the thuds of your breaths clashing with the sighs of my aching fingertips. These fingertips disconnected between the dots that outline your face, the stunning curvature of your architecture. Oh, blessed be an onlooker worthy enough of hearing that poetry. Like you said, never does as never do. Although I was absolutely certain of the lack of grammar within those lines, it was assuring to find ignorance in bliss. But between the belief and the juxtaposition of the fall, did I realize what I realized. If only, and, ors, and buts. Those conversations never led to much conclusion, fighting and struggling like wounded soldiers to find some reason to carry on. A reason to breathe out anew and inhale the old, ancient, and wronged. Your Atlantis sunk long before I came along, or so you blamed me accountable for. That wretched paradise of isolation and "rut-on-the-side-of-the-road" symptoms had you fulfilled till disgusting, emotional gluttony. If you could even call your heart, emotion. But nevertheless, these words still spun sentences, these letters still clustered into mutterings, and this final goodbye never ceased.

And thus opens the door of a new life to start a whole new you, but the incandescent shadows still trickle behind these soft hands.

White Lines & Red Lights - Between The Trees




I HATE VOG!!!!!!!!

Oh my god this hurts like hell

The Mixed Tape - Jack's Mannequin





Like nothing ever.
Like everything ever.
Like the absence of existing as nothing.
Like you and I and we and us and together we are forever.
Like the waves of my thought trailed down your cheek with no presence of tears.
Like muttering soft nothings and hard everythings and combined adjectives to describe this...
This...





And so life goes on.
I love transitions, phases of phases upon interphases and gaps between. I'm quite excited for this new season -- gosh, that word! "season". Such a New Hope word. Invented to intervene between what was initially intended. But nevertheless, I see such potential in this, with this. I know that God's got His hand scooping down and paving the way, turning over my dirty hands and rubbing them clean within His. It's a nice feeling. Honestly, I'm not referring to anything specific, but somehow I just know. And that's all that really matters. Because in a world where what matters really doesn't matter, what doesn't matter essentially does. And He matters to me. Amen.

I knew I loveddd youu before I metttt youuuuu

I Knew I Loved You - Savage Garden

That's my jam. '90s pop was so ridiculous. Backstreet Boys totally > N*SYNC. I mean c'mon, what does n'sync even mean? Can the mass media audience not even have the educational capacity to spell "in sync"? And what is up with that star thing that acts as a apostrophe?!?!?! Geez. So we're officially calling Epic's next dating series, "Love: As Told By '90s Pop". It'll be bomb!



Auuright!

1, 2, 3, 4, hey you clean my kitchen floor!

Mushaboom - Feist


So I've decided that turning 18 ain't all that great.
Sometimes I even forget that I'll be considered an "adult" by most of the generalized Western world in 16 days. Or is it "sixteen" days? I never know the difference in appropriateness for spelling out. Figures I'd be an English major, no? Mmm. Perhaps it's because those days of family celebrations and huge, frosted cakes are gone. Now, it's slender collections of dollar bills and half-hearted hugs. Which is fine, really. Growing up. I don't think I'll ever fully grow up, at least not for a many a years from now. I'm pretty sure I fancied up some sort of Peter-Pan syndrome somewhere...


I don't even have a wishlist! Errawwggh.
Someone buy me a puppy and I'll be fine.

KSHOOTSDEN




-ediiiiit!

My thoughts exactly. Come on, I like Nutella more than nonfunctioning pocket internet...

You go pound for pound.

Everytime (Britney Spears Cover) - Glen Hansard

Apathy is a beach.

I love free wi-fi from Starbucks. 

And the lower gas prices!

And Angels and Airwaves, december 12!

And swells up north!

And God!

And not being emo, cause I'm not! ^_^

And not school!

That's pretty much it. Shoots!

Some cull science, some glean astral planes...

Run (Snow Patrol Cover) - Vitamin String Quartet

You're so repetitious. Stop looking at life through a freaking mirror.

Anywho,

Stoked that the weekend is here!

So, time for a serious blog. A friend of mine just gave birth to her first child -- a beautiful and momentous milestone. Heck, it's a start of a new life. Well, it was her boyfriend's child, and they lived together but weren't married. She was convinced that they were eventually going to be married and spend the rest of their lives together (hence, the having a baby part of the equation). She even gave the child his last name. And... after the birth, the guy broke it off with her. 

Why the heck do guys do stuff like that???!? I can kind of try to understand that his feelings may have changed over time and blahblahblah, guy talk about penises and chicks and boobs and whatever, but when there's a whole new life involved?! Grow a pair, man up, and fucking take responsibility for your actions. And when you've taken a intensely intimate part of the creation of your own flesh and blood... well, he just up and left like nothing. And now she's living with her aunty in Hilo. A lovely girl in her prime, no time for school or a secure career. With a freaking baby. And with no companion to help raise the dang child. 

Someone please explain this to me...

I am trying desperately hard to keep at least some dire faith in the male populous.  

But stuff like this doesn't help.

Thanks.

Souled Out!!!

Get-Well-Cards - Conor Oberst and the Mystic Valley Band

A tribute in awe. I think that *refers above* is my favorite song by the group, if not ever as of right now. "Lenders In The Temple" is also a memorable lick. It's rather interesting how Conor introduced the song... "So for those of you who read the Bible... I had to read it once. This is for you." But Conor is deliciously beautiful, so whatever. The show itself was very musically satisfying. I felt as if I had eaten an entire bowl of harmonies. Yummm.

And so here comes the 3:45 - 11 PM shift. Tonight will be... tiring. Is it Wednesday already? It seems as if the more time I collect between my palms, the less of it I can hold onto. Kind of like money. Heh. I could've never imagined having this much free time, but yet at the same time, not having any real time at all. Welcome to college, eh?

Well, last night made my week. I'll be content for awhile.

Thanks mates.

Suspicion

I Don't Want To Die (In A Hospital) - Conor Oberst and the Mystic Valley Band

My goodness, how much has changed.

"I wanna be your bootlegger..."

So in a nutshell, since my last post, I am now a defiantly single, God-seeking, music inquiring (with a semi-loose grip upon that ancient iPod), freshman-standing underclassman, who is maniacally planning on finally chopping off her mane. My, how fine that'll be. A severe cut is what the doctor ordered!

As for school... well, it's UH. How much more can I elaborate? Must I drape up this story with luxurious tapestries that could never exist? I've finally decided that I'm going to major in English. My ENG 100A class is starting to brighten up, I love the feeling of absorbing new literature and rhetortic. Geez, I'm such a sponge. Also, I'm definitely dropping Honors, come next semester, unless they offer decent classes and priority registration. I've joined the PMA, thanks for Kie and Megan, for whom the association is the best thing that's ever happened in life.

I've also learned that uneasiness can indeed be palpable. 

But the highlight of my week will mos def be Conor Oberst and the Mystic Valley Band at Pipeline tomorrow night. My best friend and I will make sweet love to music in sweaty rushes, worshiping Mr. Oberst for his genius contribution to the music entropy that this world is. But anyway, I'm just excited to finally see my Kaylapoo, it's definitely been waaaay too long being apart! Darn HPU.

"There's nothing that the road cannot heal."

And I almost believe him.

Alright, adios amigos.

Student Grade Report

Say It To Me Now - Glen Hansard

Frankly, it's been a heck of a long time since I've been on this. About five months, which in actuality, is a very short time, but subjectively, is quite a time.

So much has happened, where to start?

Well, this blogspot was never meant or intended for lengthly vents or useless quotes like xanga, hey that was high school. I can actually say that things are starting to move along, starting to fall into place, as well, if that even makes sense. And I've realized, I'm extremely bitter. About everything -- school, grades, falling 0.003 short of Valedictorian, getting a 3 on my AP English test when I so desperately yearned for a higher grade, something that would at least give me the slightest reassurance that my majoring in English was the right choice, and well, everything. I'm just average. Hurray.

Anyway, I've been shopping a lot. Hah, sounds like some dumb blonde, but it's the only thing that keeps me sane nowadays. Bought some things from Urban Outtfitters, been looking around style blogs, etc. Other than going out and work, things have been lackluster.

I love my new bag. :>


And this has also captured my attention.

Takes amazing pictures, with crisp contrast and ghostly blurs. Shivers!



Well, tonight is the calculus party. Woohoo! Us nerds know how to get down. :]

We love that game

The Way - Neil Young

So I finally did it. Stepped up and resisted. It's a huge relief...fighting between myself and I. It's simply a simple treason, a warning glare that can't be read, with mixed signals and broken morse codes...I'm just extremely glad that it's all over. Excuses become hard to conjure up on the 
spot, you know.

On the other hand, sitting in the booths tonight -- faking smiles and trying to avoid glances is always hard. The laughs were genuine, though, of course. Two plus long years of hiding, draining my lips of truth...it's gotten tiring. But I suppose it's also gotten easier, growing onto me like some sort of infective fungus. Yay.

Reality serves some dire slaps. Geeze.

On the other hand, MCS soon! Aaah, so excited.... ^-^ Can't wait for the rush, the blurs of stage lights, the grinding of metal strings in unison with deep bass and thumping drum heads, the sweaty pushes of ferocious confusion, the head nodding and lip syncing to the lyrics, the foolish grinning, and of course, the obviously overpriced stuff that I can buy. Maybe they might allow us to take pictures with the guys?? Never happen before, we'll see how fate treats us.

A bare attempt at 2007

Exactly.

Genesis

High Times - Elliot Smith

...So, new thing? Thank you Grace for recommending the thang.

I guess I'm supposed to fill this space with some sort of new-agey observation or thoughts of sentiment, for this is no MySpace. Sure. Let's see how long I can hold out on this guise of typing in proper grammar, with proper punctuation and capitalization. Yeeh!

After tonight, as I stood lost within the crowd of high school students, clapping listlessly to the beat of "Amazing Grace" (oh you go, Chel), I came to the final conclusion that there is no such thing as "originality". As much as we hate to admit it, we turn our heads to avoid it, sweep it under the rug, it's still the elephant sitting on our couch. People get into debates and arguments over who-started-what, and who-is-better, when it's all quite pointless and in vain, really. Who friggen cares if someone copied you!? Most of the time, it's not even a true copy of your claims. Here, let me hold your hand and guide you through the process. It's very possible that someone of one of the previous lives lived on this earth had already stumbled over your precious ideal already. So get over it. Really. And I suppose I have to take that into mind, too, for we all are proud and hold ourselves in a higher stance that we deserve. I guess I'm no better. Yay, a lesson for today. Woah, dream big!! And speaking of such, I'm going to make a disclaimer already -- I love the idea of putting on a "today's song" in every blog, thanks to Grace, as well, and a hint from xanga. So I'll do it. No big, it's brilliant.

And def jam poetry rocks. This guy (pardon for not remembering the name :/) wrote a poem about Jimi Hendrix's "Purple Haze"; oh man, nothing short of majestic. And I don't call many things majestic, that's for sure. It's so full of passion, it's terribly contagious. Hah, and not to mention entertaining. Inspiring. All of those big adjectives that could be pulled from a thesarus, you name it, it labels it.

I guess this just about wraps up my first post on Blogger. Yay me.